Sitting here nearly twenty years later, it’s not immediately clear to me which thought was more naïve: that I’d have a professional football career right now, or that I could somehow relay a specific demonstration of agility in one of my illustrations. What, exactly, did I evision would be my signature? A dive? A 360-degree spin? A double move?
On the last day of school before winter break, I suppose I could be forgiven for dreaming of touchdowns. I’d been a full-time student for all of 15 weeks, and I was ready for a vacation. The upcoming week was a boundless horizon of unquantifiable time – I might actually be grown up by 1993 – right?
None of my athletic aspirations truly panned out, but I’m not without any “moves.” For instance, I’m excellent at anticipating the path of a falling object and snatching it before it hits the ground. The most impressive diving catch I’ve ever made was in my girlfriend’s ktichen, reaching out at full extension to save a glass jar. So, uh, take that, Plaxico Burress!