adam j. sontag

slightly more like a website than before

I am for the Jets

A large turkeylike duck, a pandalike owl, and rabbit stand and argue about football teams.

I am for the Jets said Duck.

I am for the giants said RaBBIT.

I am foR Quiet! said oWl.

And thus do my beloved New York Jets first surface in this tome. From as early as age five, I vividly remember coming home from Hebrew school on Sundays a bit after one o’clock to the early stages of a Jets or Giants game. So when I decided to plagiarise a section from a book I had read earlier in the week to create today’s entry, I simply substituted them in place of what was in the original book. Which book? No clue. But it probably was an old one, because that’s not how people talked about sports teams in the 1990s. And that’s not how animals ever talked about sports teams, because animals can’t talk.

Leaving aside that poor duck’s resemblance to a dancing turkey, it’s an awesome day, however. Not only is it my half-birthday (a big fucking deal when you’re six), I’m about to learn about quotation marks! And not only that, I’m also going to misled about their usage, because the comma provided after “quiet!” is incorrect. And they wonder is our children learning?

I don’t know if they just don’t take plagiarism as seriously in first grade, or if I just pulled a fast one on Mrs. Judge, because I got a damn smiley on this one, and I’m guessing that cherubic figure’s existence is thanks largely to this entry’s relative length!

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