adam j. sontag

slightly more like a website than before

I know how make many 3-D shapes

I know how make many 3-D shapes.

I know how make many 3-D shapes.

3-D shapes! Get your 3-D shapes here! You want triangles? I got triangles! You want rectangles? I got rectangles! A table? I’ve got a table right here! Keep the telephone - it’s my free gift to you!

Are your shapes lacking in character? Zest? Wish you had more passion for the one you drew? It could be a common medical condition known as Low D, and I’ve got just the remedy. Take those boring old scribbles, draw some lines behind ‘em to give the illusion of depth, and call me in the morning. If your D’s haven’t increased by 50%, you get your money back! Just pay shipping and handling.

“But Adam, I tried your technique and I’m still feeling flat! It doesn’t even make sense! You can’t see the top of a flagpole from the ground!” You’re right! You can’t…from the ground! Join me atop this pyramid, however, and see if you don’t get some perspective on my perspective.

step into my

In a clinical study of 3D Shapes, some users reported sudden hallucinations of hieroglyphics. Others reported an irrationally inflated sense of self-worth stemming from their newfound abilities. Do not use 3D Shapes if you use a rescue inhaler for asthma or if you’re taking an MAO inhibitor. Do not use 3D Shapes if you lack fine motor skills, or …motor skills. Claims of tri- dimensionality are for promotional purposes only; any drawings made on flat paper are inherently 2D. Always consult a doctor before starting a new sketching regimen. is not responsible for any bodily harm stemming from unauthorised climbing of antiquarian relics.