adam j. sontag

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On Saturday Chanukkah and I got perfection

On Saturday Chanukkah and I got perfection I think I beat the timer ten times.

On Saturday Chanukkah and I got perfection I think I beat the timer ten times.

“Perfection,” for those who don’t remember, was one of the great children’s games of the 90’s. Yes, it was mind-numbingly repetetive, but it was also exhilarating. It didn’t even matter that it wasn’t particularly fun: it came from the TV!

When you’re marketing products to children, you don’t have to bother with banal concepts like “taste” or “reasoning.” You just blast right in there and create an imperative!

PUT THE PIECES INTO THE SLOT
What pieces?! There are pieces? Slot, where’s a slot?

MAKE THE RIGHT SELECTION
What, wrong? I don’t want to be wrong! I’M A GOOD BOY!!

BUT BE QUICK, YOU’RE RACING THE CLOCK
Omigod, omigod, omiGODDDDDDD

POP GOES PERFECTION
MOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMM BUY ITTTTTTT

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